Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
