dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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