First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
