so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
