We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
