all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
