There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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