i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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