I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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