she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
