Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
