I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
