Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ketchup is God's man juice
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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