Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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