And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
