I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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