I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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