i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize