dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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