I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have post one night stand depression
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