I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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