her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
