i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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