I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
