so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
try to milk me bitch
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