I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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