Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
