Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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