Only a mothe r could love this liver
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
