Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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