My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
