Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
