i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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