we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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