the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
