She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
