She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Come on in and take your pants off
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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