There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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