Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
