No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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