Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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