the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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