Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
