now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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