I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
