Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
