plz talk dirty to me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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