I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
