i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
