Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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