Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
