I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
