Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm sobbing to NWA
Damn victory sex feels great
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
