Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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