Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
