1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Panties = found
Randomize
