I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
