Just cropdusted the office
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
