I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
