its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
