You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
