Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
